Moroni's Review of "Men In Black 3"

Fifteen years ago, Martha and I took my dad's plural wife out to see a new movie called "Men In Black".  It was campy, funny, twisted and entertaining.  Both of my moms are from Mexico, and this one didn't speak English.  I remember that she was pleased that the opening sequence of the movie was in Spanish, and she liked that she could understand it.

Two years later, I met my second wife Temple, and she was a total MIB freak.  She adored this movie.  She thought that Will Smith was funny, and she kind of had a crush on Tommy Lee Jones.  (Ew.)  So it was inevitable that when "Men In Black 2" came out in 2002, that it was a date night for us.

A month or so ago, Temple insisted that she would be going to see "Men In Black 3".  I told her that it would be a date.  I reminded her that our first date together had been a Will Smith movie (Wild Wild West) that had ended with us making out in the theatre parking lot.  But we've been married for thirteen years, so "date night" included the kids.  That means no hot and heavy necking in the car, rather, buckling up car seats.

Temple had been psyching herself up for this movie and had been blaring the Pitbull song that is the theme song in her car, nonstop.  She was not disappointed after it was all over.

The movie tells of a long and tiring relationship between Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) that has become strained.  This was convincing, because there also seems to be a lack of chemistry between the actors that was once there.

The MIB franchise seems to produce some memorable villains.  Who can forget Vincent D'Onofrio's wonderful performance in the first movie?  Laura Flynn Boyle's role in the second film was kind of forgetable. I had to Google the movie to even remember that she was in it.  In the third installment, Jemain Clement was wonderful, but also totally unrecognizable.  It wasn't until later that I realized, "Hey, it's that guy from 'Flight of the Conchords'!"  He plays a villain called Borris the Animal, complete with all molar for teeth, and a scary creature that comes out of an ulcer in his palm.  (I hate ulcers.)  He escapes from a prison on the moon with an intent to travel back in time to kill Agent K, who put him in prison to begin with.

Agent J must then travel back to 1969 to rescue the young Agent K, played by Josh Brolin.  I have to admit - Josh Brolin's impersonation of Tommy Lee Jones was uncanny.  It was Spot.  On.  It was arguably the best thing of the movie.

Another brilliant piece was the cameo of Bill Hader playing Andy Warhol, who - of course - is involved with the Men In Black Agency.

These things - along with the soundtrack - were the best part of the movie.  The rest was kind of formulaic, lacking the spark of the original movie.  Don't get me wrong.  It was enjoyable.  Just not earth shattering.

That didn't keep Temple from dancing to Pitbull as the credits rolled up.  But trust me.  That was earth shattering - and worth it - enough for me.

One interesting note: the climax of the movie takes place at Cape Canaveral, Florida.  Our three year-old son Avery became excited when he saw the location, stood up and started shouting, "Hey, I remember that place!  Remember when we went there to feed the ducks?"  Must have been another movie, because I have never been there.