Moroni's Review of "The Lucky One"

So a man with more than one wife is expected to see his fair share of chick flicks...

And you can't get more chick-flicky than a movie based on a novel by none other than chick-flick guru, Nicholas Sparks.  Nicholas Sparks is known for coming up with the printed format for stimulating estrogen.  It doesn't matter that his work is formulaic, it gets tremendous response from the ladies.

These are the types of books that my wife Temple eats up.  (Although she does have a geeky side that loves sci fi/ fantasy.)

So this past weekend, it was a warm, spring day.  I took both of the ladies to Lotus Garden for lunch, and then I said, "Do you guys want to see 'The Lucky One'?"

"What's that?" they asked.

"It's based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks.  You know.  The author of 'The Christmas Box'."

I make this joke all the time.  It always gets a rise from Temple.  Every time.  "The Christmas Box" is NOT written by Nicholas Sparks, but by Richard Paul Evans, who is Temple's favorite, favorite author - another scribe of all things feminine.  The first time, I really did confuse them - what guy wouldn't?  They write the same type of book and market them in plain covers with nothing more than a title encased by a pretty vignette.

So the three of us went to see "The Lucky One", me seated and flanked by my two wives.

The beginning was promising, with some action sequences in Iraq.  But these were short-lived.  Zac Efron (with a puffy face now that he is older) plays a Marine haunted by his experiences in the war.  While in battle, he finds a photo of a beautiful young woman (played by the fetching Taylor Schilling, who is the libertarian pin-up girl, having played Dagney Taggart in the movie adaptation of "Atlas Shrugged").  He believes this photo saved his life, and so he sets out of a trek to find the girl.  He finds her running a dog kennel in North Carolina.  And instead of returning the photo to her - which is his intention - he gets a job at her kennel and slowly worms his way into her life.

During the movie, much to Temple's annoyance, I whispered in her ear predictions about the plot.  OF COURSE there is a "another guy" who is trying to thwart this budding love.  OF COURSE she finds out about the photo (which is the weakest link in the plot). OF COURSE she wants him out of her life.  OF COURSE he offers his sincerest apologies and wins the girl (which never happens in real life).

Before the movie even started, I KNEW that my wives would absolutely adore this movie.  Before this movie even started, I KNEW that I would give it a bad review.  Sure enough, as the end credits started rolling, I started plotting the horrible things I would say about this movie as I secretly wiped the tear from my eye.