Moroni's Review of "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"

The very first book I read on my own was "The Hobbit" at age seven.  (I read it before I read the Book of Mormon.)  Then at ages eight and nine, I read "The Lord of the Rings" series.  As a young parent, I read all of these books to my kids.  In the days before our ranch had electricity, I would have my kids around me and read to them the works of J.R.R. Tolkien by candlelight.

So to say that this movie franchise is important to me would be an understatement.  Seeing these movies translated to the big screen for me has been a dream come true. When "The Fellowship of the Ring" came out in 2001, my excitement reached a fever pitch that had not been experienced since the original Star Wars trilogy.  And it did not disappoint.  It was everything I hoped for.  When "The Two Towers" came out, I already had tickets, and my then-wife, Temple, and I drove through a blizzard to see this movie, with our infant in a car seat.  We were driving past diesels that couldn't make it up the hill - just to see Middle Earth on the big screen.  For "The Return of the King", we went to a midnight showing - in sub-freezing temperatures.  They set up a medieval tent in the parking lot, and I had a cold, my nose dripping like a faucet, waiting to get into the theater.

In other words, "The Lord of the Rings" became a Christmas tradition for me for a few years, and, after that, when it was all done, it never really seemed like Christmas.

So it was with great expectation that I awaited the release of "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey".  I so wanted for this movie to finally come out, and what a journey it was for this movie to arrive!

Years ago, there was an online poll about which director - other than Peter Jackson - would be fitting to direct a movie version of "The Hobbit".  The answers were mundane - Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, etc.  My answer was quick - Guillermo del Toro.  This was pre-Pan's Labyrinth.  I had only seen "Blade II" and "Hellboy" by this point.  But I knew - he was the man for the job.  So I was ecstatic when he was selected to helm "The Hobbit".  It was perfect.

Then came the problems with the rights being owned by the floundering MGM, along with sniveling from the Tolkien estate.  There were delays after delays, and, after two years, del Toro had to bail.  It was a devastating blow.  (He did retain screenwriter credits.)  Peter Jackson returned to direct, and it seemed like the devil himself tried to prevent this movie from being made - labor disputes, animal handler's complaints.  But it finally arrived.

So part of our family Christmas was for sixteen of us to file into two cars and head to the movie theater.  There was even a snow storm!  Several of my kids have read the book, and they were excited, especially my ten year-old son, Aidan.  We donned the 3-D glasses and were transported back to Middle Earth.

The previous trilogy was breathtaking, but this time it seemed as Peter Jackson filled the screen with more sweeping landscapes from his homeland.  It made me miss New Zealand!  If there was any place that I would chose to live, it would be New Zealand.  The music also carried many hints of the previous series.  We were transported back to a familiar place, and many familiar faces were there.  Ian Holm as the aging Bilbo, Elijah Wood as Frodo, Ian McKellen as Gandalf, Hugo Weaving as Elrond, Cate Blanchett as Lady Galadriel, Andy Serkis as Gollum, and a 90 year-old and spry Christopher Lee as Sauruman.

One of the brilliant moves of Peter Jackson was to raid Tolkien's appendices for more material.  There are several back stories inserted to flesh out the story, and provide fodder for two more movies.  There is a dazzling introduction sequence that sets up the dragon Smaug and the loss of Erebor, the Lonely Mountain.  Radagast the Brown, Gandalf's associate, is inserted into the narrative to set up the Necromancer's evil invasion of Mirkwood.

The story sticks fairly close to the book apart from the added components of back stories.  Martin Freeman is Bilbo, right from the book.  There are so many dwarves that it is hard to get a good sense of who they are, apart from their sullen leader, played to the bone by Richard Armitage.

I was happy that they put more songs in the movie as J.R.R. Tolkien's writings are laden with songs.  The movie has more of the whimsical feel of the book.  That pleased me as well.

I didn't like how most of the orcs and goblins were CGI.  Call me old-fashioned, but I like my monsters wearing make-up.  The computer animation did allow for the creation of more grotesque creatures, though.  There, that is my sole complaint.

Otherwise, this movie is perfect and entertaining in every way.  It won't win any Oscars, but, in my book, it is the best movie of the year.  What need do I have to go see "Les Miserables" when I can just go see "The Hobbit" again?

Moroni's Review of "Cloud Atlas"

Early Mormon apostle Orson Hyde once asked, in prayer, to be shown the meaning of time and eternity.  He was shown in a dream a great cloud that he was told represented eternity.  There was a stream that flowed out of the cloud, arced around, and fed back into the cloud.  He was told that the stream represented time.

I have contemplated this dream quite often, trying to divine a meaning in it.  The cloud representing eternity is enormous, amorphous, even chaotic.  And what we call time is finite, follows its own course, but eventually ends, returning to the wellspring that spawned it.  I have many, many theories about time and space and eternity that would either sound crazy to people, or like a really great science fiction movie.

Personally, I think that Orson Hyde was onto something.  I think that the mystics of the East have also come close to understanding the substance of time and space.  I remember reading about an Eastern teacher trying to teach his student about time.  He cast a twig into a river and said that the twig represents our lives, and the river represents time.  The twig floating with the current is symbolic of our lives flowing along through time.  From the perspective of the twig, where is the river?  It is only where the twig is.

But then the teacher explained, "Where is the river?  Is it at the source?  Is it at each bend and turn?  Or is it where it feeds into the sea?"

The answer is - the river is everywhere at once.  So it is with time.  From our perception, time is linear and appears to flow with continuity from one moment to to the next.  But that is an illusion.  Like the river, time exists everywhere at once.  As a great, eternal cloud, as it were.

So when I walked out of "Cloud Atlas", I told my wife Martha, "This is either the worst movie I have ever seen, or it is the best movie I have ever seen.  I can't decide which.  I may have to see it another time to decide."

I went home and slept on it and decided that "Cloud Atlas" is indeed one of the best movies that I have ever seen,

I figured out why so many people don't like it.  It is very nonlinear.  The plot bounces us back and forth through time.  There are several distinct story lines - one in the mid 1800's, one in the 1930s, another in the 1970s, an episode in the modern day, another 150 years in the future, and a final one hundreds of years in the future.  The movie moves seamlessly between the time periods.  The editing techniques used to mesh these narratives together was nothing short of breathtaking.

In other words, there is not much in the way of conventional continuity in the narrative.  But that is the point.  Every story is happening at once, at the same time.

This movie is not for the dumbed-down masses.  It isn't sufficient to sit back and be entertained.  In order to understand the movie, it is required that the viewer think for the entire duration of the movie.  I think that's why people don't like it.  They have to think.

Before this movie came out, I knew nothing about it, except that it is directed by the Wachowski Brothers (er, brother and sister), along with Tom Tykwer.  I am a huge fan of the Wachowski siblings.  Of course, I loved "The Matrix".  Like "Cloud Atlas", I knew nothing about "The Matrix" when I walked in to see it and was completely wowed.  I loved "V For Vendetta", that anthem of libertarianism, and I even loved "Speed Racer".  So it was a given that I would go see this movie.

It is unique in many ways.  There is a superb ensemble of a cast (Tom Hanks, Hugh Grant, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugo Weaving, Susan Sarandon, and others), and the genius is that each of these actors play a different character in each of the different timelines.  Each performer was able to display their acting prowess in the animation of very different characters.  Sometimes, they even played someone of a different ethnicity.  A black actor would play a white person.  A white person would play an Asian.  It was really ingenious.

There were hints of reincarnation, which traditionally is not a Mormon belief (but does have its argument in the doctrine of Multiple Mortal Probations).  So it is interesting fodder for thought.

And that is the genius of this movie - it makes you think.

It doesn't hurt that it is visually stunning.  For me, this is more than just a movie.  It is art.  This is what the movie experience should be about.

I never did go see it again.  I have to wait until it comes out on video.  Or just realize that, if all time exists at once, I am watching it right now.

Moroni's Review of "Hotel Transylvania"

I took my kids to the movies over Fall Break, and I let them pick the movie.  They picked "Hotel Transylvania".  So off we went.  I usually don't have high expectations for these types of movies.  Little did I know that this is an Adam Sandler movie, disguised in animation.  (No, we didn't see the 3D version.)

What this means is that there was plenty of humor that only adults would get, and it was chock full of references meant to tickle the fancy of parents who are drug by their kids to see a cartoon.  I like it when they do this in movies.  This ensures that both the parents and the kids have something they will enjoy, a little something for everyone. 

Adam Sandler plays Dracula, who is a widower.  He builds a resort for monsters where they can get away from the threat of humans.  The movie opens up with Dracula preparing for the 118th birthday of his teenage daughter, Mavis (played by Selena Gomez).  Mavis yearns to see the human world, but Dracula is an overprotective dad and creates an entire Potemkin Village for her populated with his zombie servants masquerading as "scary humans".  The purpose is to dissuade her from leaving.  In the meantime, all of their monster friends arrive at the resort to help celebrate the birthday.  Everything is thrown into chaos when a human backpacker named Johnny (played by Andy Samberg) shows up.  Dracula disguises him as a monster until he can figure out a way to get rid of him.  Of course, Mavis and Johnny become drawn to each other.

The movie is pretty simple, so there is no need to philosophize about this piece.  It is entertaining and has a wonderful cast of comedians.  There are plenty of gags.  But it was a hit with the kids.  My kids went home for days, quoting, "Blah, blah, blah!"

Moroni's Review of "The Cold Light of Day"

I have always loved spy movies.  As a child, I used to watch James Bond movies on ABC on Sunday evenings.  As a teen, I actually read the original Ian Fleming novels.  So when I saw the trailer for "The Cold Light of Day", I knew that I would use my two movie passes to see that film.  Martha and I headed into town for date night.

The movie starts out very intriguing.  Will Shaw - played by Henry Cavill, whom I recognized from "The Tudors" and as the new Superman from the upcoming "Man of Steel" - shows up in Spain for a family vacation.  His father, played by Brice Willis, was a diplomat, so the family was used to traveling around the world.  So this trip to Spain is kind of a regular thing for the family.  Will can scarcely stand being around his family - his dad, his mom (Caroline Goodall), his brother (Rafi Gavron), and his brother's girlfriend (Emma Hamilton).  They take a yacht out into the Mediterranean, but Will is on his phone constantly, talking business, and his father eventually chucks his phone overboard.  Upset, Will swims to shore to get on the phone and get some supplies.

When he gets back, he finds the boat trashed and his family missing.  He goes to shore again to try to get help, but the cops try to kill him.  He is rescued by his father, who turns out to be some sort of spy.  Will never knew this about his father, but, come on, if your dad is Bruce Willis, he is not going to be wasted as a desk clerk.  It turns out that Will's family is being held hostage in exchange for a mysterious briefcase that was in his father's possession.  Before Brice Willis can answer any other questions, he is assassinated by a sniper.  No more Bruce Willis.

Okay, stop the film right here.  Up to this point, the whole mystery on the Mediterranean was very intriguing.  It sucked me in.  It was different.  It was original.  Everything that happens after this point became very predictable, very Jason Bourne-ish, very used and tired, very... boring.

I can usually gauge movies on this - I either don't want them to end, or I can't wait for them to be over.  I couldn't wait for this film to be over.

The kidnappers don't care that Will doesn't know anything about the briefcase, and he must obtain it by a certain time, or his family dies.  He sets out to find the briefcase and comes across his dad's former boss, played by Sigourney Weaver.  She turns out to be a bad guy.  No surprise there.  As he goes along, he discovers that he never really knew his dad.  He gets some unexpected help from a young Spanish girl (played by the beautiful Veronica Echegui) who turns out to be his sister from an affair his dad had in his days as a spy.

Seriously, do I need to go on?  Wait until this movie comes out on video - which should be soon.  Better yet, go see a James Bond movie.  "Skyfall" should be coming out soon.

Moroni's Review of "The Dark Knight Rises"

Before I write this review, I guess I should admit that I am a fan of Tim Burton's "Batman".  It was surreal and gothic, like a fever dream.  I was even a fan of the old Batman TV show.  It was pastel and campy.  The problem with reboots is this - I am not that interested in a life-like reality where Batman might really exist.  Batman belongs within the confines of the comic book universe.  He does not belong in the real world.

For this reason, I have not really been able to get into Christopher Nolan's "Dark Knight" trilogy.  Lord knows I have tried.  They are too dirty and gritty.  And they don't feel like superhero movies.  I must say that I liked "The Avengers" much better.  I suppose that if you go to see this movie , don't watch it as a Batman movie - but as a crime drama, then it is pretty good.

Ah, expectations!

I took my wife Martha on a date to see the last installment of the franchise - "The Dark Knight Rises".  Christian reprises his role as Bruce Wayne/ Batman - years after the death of Harvey Dent, retired and suffering from debilitating injuries.  (I can relate.)  There's a bunch of Wall Street intrigue and corporate intrigue involving Wayne Industries that goes on that had my head eyes drooping.  The one thing that kept my eyes open was a thief/ spy named Catwoman, played by the delectable Anne Hathaway.  It seems as if the person behind this is a villain named Bane, a luchero from the League of Shadows, the secret society from the first movie.  Bane is played by Tom Hardy, and his performance was superb - except that the voice amplified by his mask was pretty grating and annoying.  Bane and his henchmen concoct a scheme that sends Bruce Wayne into a prison halfway around the world, leaving Ban free to capture the entire city of Gotham and impose martial law.

The only resistance is put up by small bands of rebels led by Commissioner Gordon, played by Gary Oldman, and a young cop named John Blake, played by Joseph Gordon Levitt.  Bruce Wayne finally liberates himself and returns to Gotham City to inspire and lead an all-out war against Bane and his allies.

To me, the poignant scenes were about seeing the metropolis in the clutches of evil men, reduced to life under tyranny.  It made me realize that we don't need thugs and criminals to reduce us to such a sordid state. We have the politicians in Washington that are pushing us in that direction anyway.  Where is a Batman when we need him?  The sad reality is that there are no superheroes to rescue us in our moment of dire need.  Something to think about as this sham of an election draws near.

This really is the best of the three movies.  So if you have bothered seeing the other two, then you must see this one - for closure, if anything.  But if you haven's seen any of these, go rent the Tim Burton movie instead.

Moroni's Review of "Ice Age: Continental Drift

Sorry.  The movie blog has been suffering.  Mainly because I have been busy.  Partially due to dread of having to write this review.

My daughter in college has been babysitting for one of my old high school friends.  My daughter tells me that my friend seldom puts on kids' movies for her daughter; she doesn't have the patience for them.  I wish that I had that luxury.  But I am here to tell you - once you have kids, you will watch your fill of children's movies - at the theater or at home.  You may want to spend your evening watching Sho-time television series or Skinemax.  But forget it.  Those days are over.  It's all kiddie movies for you, and you will spend all of your spare time will be spend watching movies with the kiddos, that the kiddos have picked.

That said, I have watched the first three "Ice Age" movies many times.  Many, many times.  My kids love them.  My wives love them.  To me, they are mildly entertaining, but mostly formulaic.  In other words, they are not good enough to watch them over and over and over again, the way my kids like to watch them.

This summer, I took my (then) wife and kids to the movies.  I let them pick which one we could see,  I was hoping they would pick "The Dark Knight Rises".  I mean - they're kids, and this is Batman.  But they picked "Ice Age: Continental Drift" instead, the fourth movie in the "Ice Age" franchise.

The familiar characters return - Manny the mammoth, his partner Ellie, Diego the sabertooth tiger, and Sid the sloth, along with other familiar characters like Scratt.  This time, the herd is split up by a cataclysmic schism in the continent.  Our regular characters take refuge with a gang of pirates sailing the seas on board a floating iceberg.  Of course, the pirates turn out to be bad guys.

I can say that there is nothing remarkable that sets this film apart from the other three.  Sure, there are some funny moments, but none of them enough to redeem the film.  My favorite character in all of the films is Sid, the sloth with a speech impediment, played brilliantly by John Leguizamo.  The villain in this movie is an ape named Gutt - played surprisingly by Peter Dinklage, who is better known in his role as the dwarf Tyrion Lannister in the "Game of Thrones" series.  I would never have guessed that it was him.

So I kind of had to endure the movie.  But the kids loved it (as did the ex-wife).  And that makes the whole thing worth it.  Maybe next time I can watch what I want...  Who am I kidding?

Announcement

Breaking News: After 13 years, Temple and I are ending our marriage. It may seem cliche, but we really love each other and are still the best of friends. We will continue raising our children together, just no longer as husband and

 wife. It is a very sad time for us, and yet I wish her the best. There are reasons for it, but I won't discuss it on a public forum. I won't tolerate people badmouthing Temple or dragging her name through the mud. There are reasons for the split, but honestly I have to take responsibility for this. If it is anyone's fault, it is mine. I will likely blog about this in coming days, but without embarrassing her. My thirteen years as a polygamist are over, and I will still defend this Principle until my dying day, as I will defend Temple. This photo was taken the evening it became final. I LOVE YOU FOREVER, TEMPLE!! ♥