Moroni's Review of "The Dark Knight Rises"

Before I write this review, I guess I should admit that I am a fan of Tim Burton's "Batman".  It was surreal and gothic, like a fever dream.  I was even a fan of the old Batman TV show.  It was pastel and campy.  The problem with reboots is this - I am not that interested in a life-like reality where Batman might really exist.  Batman belongs within the confines of the comic book universe.  He does not belong in the real world.

For this reason, I have not really been able to get into Christopher Nolan's "Dark Knight" trilogy.  Lord knows I have tried.  They are too dirty and gritty.  And they don't feel like superhero movies.  I must say that I liked "The Avengers" much better.  I suppose that if you go to see this movie , don't watch it as a Batman movie - but as a crime drama, then it is pretty good.

Ah, expectations!

I took my wife Martha on a date to see the last installment of the franchise - "The Dark Knight Rises".  Christian reprises his role as Bruce Wayne/ Batman - years after the death of Harvey Dent, retired and suffering from debilitating injuries.  (I can relate.)  There's a bunch of Wall Street intrigue and corporate intrigue involving Wayne Industries that goes on that had my head eyes drooping.  The one thing that kept my eyes open was a thief/ spy named Catwoman, played by the delectable Anne Hathaway.  It seems as if the person behind this is a villain named Bane, a luchero from the League of Shadows, the secret society from the first movie.  Bane is played by Tom Hardy, and his performance was superb - except that the voice amplified by his mask was pretty grating and annoying.  Bane and his henchmen concoct a scheme that sends Bruce Wayne into a prison halfway around the world, leaving Ban free to capture the entire city of Gotham and impose martial law.

The only resistance is put up by small bands of rebels led by Commissioner Gordon, played by Gary Oldman, and a young cop named John Blake, played by Joseph Gordon Levitt.  Bruce Wayne finally liberates himself and returns to Gotham City to inspire and lead an all-out war against Bane and his allies.

To me, the poignant scenes were about seeing the metropolis in the clutches of evil men, reduced to life under tyranny.  It made me realize that we don't need thugs and criminals to reduce us to such a sordid state. We have the politicians in Washington that are pushing us in that direction anyway.  Where is a Batman when we need him?  The sad reality is that there are no superheroes to rescue us in our moment of dire need.  Something to think about as this sham of an election draws near.

This really is the best of the three movies.  So if you have bothered seeing the other two, then you must see this one - for closure, if anything.  But if you haven's seen any of these, go rent the Tim Burton movie instead.

Moroni's Review of "Ice Age: Continental Drift

Sorry.  The movie blog has been suffering.  Mainly because I have been busy.  Partially due to dread of having to write this review.

My daughter in college has been babysitting for one of my old high school friends.  My daughter tells me that my friend seldom puts on kids' movies for her daughter; she doesn't have the patience for them.  I wish that I had that luxury.  But I am here to tell you - once you have kids, you will watch your fill of children's movies - at the theater or at home.  You may want to spend your evening watching Sho-time television series or Skinemax.  But forget it.  Those days are over.  It's all kiddie movies for you, and you will spend all of your spare time will be spend watching movies with the kiddos, that the kiddos have picked.

That said, I have watched the first three "Ice Age" movies many times.  Many, many times.  My kids love them.  My wives love them.  To me, they are mildly entertaining, but mostly formulaic.  In other words, they are not good enough to watch them over and over and over again, the way my kids like to watch them.

This summer, I took my (then) wife and kids to the movies.  I let them pick which one we could see,  I was hoping they would pick "The Dark Knight Rises".  I mean - they're kids, and this is Batman.  But they picked "Ice Age: Continental Drift" instead, the fourth movie in the "Ice Age" franchise.

The familiar characters return - Manny the mammoth, his partner Ellie, Diego the sabertooth tiger, and Sid the sloth, along with other familiar characters like Scratt.  This time, the herd is split up by a cataclysmic schism in the continent.  Our regular characters take refuge with a gang of pirates sailing the seas on board a floating iceberg.  Of course, the pirates turn out to be bad guys.

I can say that there is nothing remarkable that sets this film apart from the other three.  Sure, there are some funny moments, but none of them enough to redeem the film.  My favorite character in all of the films is Sid, the sloth with a speech impediment, played brilliantly by John Leguizamo.  The villain in this movie is an ape named Gutt - played surprisingly by Peter Dinklage, who is better known in his role as the dwarf Tyrion Lannister in the "Game of Thrones" series.  I would never have guessed that it was him.

So I kind of had to endure the movie.  But the kids loved it (as did the ex-wife).  And that makes the whole thing worth it.  Maybe next time I can watch what I want...  Who am I kidding?